PICK ME UP | Poeżija Maltija

PICK ME UP

A Drama in One Act

CHARACTERS

JULIET Carefree woman (early thirties.

BRENDAN A Thug In his twenties.

ANDREW Well educated in his twenties.

The Action takes place on a Highway. Half the stage is a car, and the other half is a lay-by. When one scene is in darkness, the other is lit.

(Juliet is driving; she is listening to the radio. Her mobile phone starts to ring, and while she turns off the radio, she talks freely using a hands-free car kit.

After every line she speaks, she takes a slight pause (as if she is listening)

JULIET

“I told you not to bother me anymore……..

You don't understand…..

I cannot get involved with anyone…...

No, I made that clear……..

Yes, it was great at the time…….

For Christ's sake……..

We only met two weeks ago…….which was a mistake.

Yes, it was a mistake…….

I thought we were going to have some fun together…..

I know we did; I enjoyed every minute of it………

I'm sorry, Jack, if that's how you feel……

You won't find me…….

I left town last night after I left your flat, that's why…….

Jack, please stop it; you will not find me…….

I'm about 45 miles away already…………

I don't think so. Do you think I'm stupid……………

I spoke to you now because I thought you deserved an explanation,

but after this conversation, we're finished…….

You won't be able to. Why?…………

I'm destroying the SIM card and installing a new one.

Now I must go because I'm tired………….

I've been driving all night……

Yes, all night. I haven't had a rest yet………..

Of course, I'm driving………

It doesn't concern you……..

Bye, Jack! No, that's all. Bye……..”

(She switches the radio back on and stops the car, but the engine is still running. She replaces the SIM Card from her mobile and throws the old one out of the window.)

“That is that.”

(She continues driving. After a while, she sees a Brendan a hitchhiker on the side and stops the car, leans over the passenger seat and sees a young man who is bending down and talks to Juliet through the window.)

BRENDAN

Are you going to pick me up or not?

JULIET

That depends.

Brendan

On what?

JULIET

Let me see! Are you a mugger?

BRENDAN

JULIET

A rapist?

BRENDAN

JULIET

Maybe a killer?

BRENDAN

JULIET

(Unlocks the door)

Hop in then

BRENDAN

Thanks

(Enters the car.)

JULIET

(As she drives)

How far do you go?

BRENDAN

All the way.

JULIET

Do you really?

BRENDAN

Try me?

JULIET

That's what I like to hear.

BRENDAN

I'm glad you agree. And your name is?

JULIET

Are names important?

BRENDAN

Not really

JULIET

Then why do you want to know?

BRENDAN

LIsten if you do not want to tell me, don't. That is alright with me.

JULIET

What were you doing in that isolated spot?

BRENDAN

Nothing

JULIET

Doing nothing is better than doing something. But that doesn't answer my question!

BRENDAN

I will tell you if you tell me what to call you.

JULIET

Cleopatra and I shall call you Mark Anthony.

BRENDAN

No, Caesar is better.

JULIET

Oh, I see, you aim high, don't you?

BRENDAN

Always. Listen Cleo, can I smoke, please?

JULIET

That depends. Cigarettes no, joints yes!

BRENDAN

Hey, are you psychic or something? How did you know?

JULIET

I'm afraid your eyes betray you.

BRENDAN

(He takes out a pouch with cannabis and starts to roll a joint.)

Where are we heading anyway?

JULIET

I don't really know. Somewhere North, I think. And you?

BRENDAN

I was heading for Birmingham. I live there, you know. I came down here to buy the good stuff.

JULIET

I still don't understand how you ended up back there. You couldn't have walked, and I'm sure of that!

BRENDAN

No. I was travelling with these old couple, and somehow I frightened them halfway through!

JULIET

I wonder why?

BRENDAN

Do you? They stopped the car, and the old geezer told me to get out. I smiled and stayed seated. I was in the back seat. Do you know what the fucker did?

JULIET

No, but you're going to tell me.

BRENDAN

He pulled a gun on me from the dashboard.

JULIET

And that was the end of your ride!

BRENDAN

Yep! So if you don't mind, stop me somewhere near Birmingham, please, and I'll be very grateful.

JULIET

I try my best. Are you ready with that joint yet?

BRENDAN

Yes, here it is.

Fade-out lights and Fade-in Lights

(Stage right. We are in the lay-by, and the car is parked on the other side.)

(BRENDAN is standing, sorting out his trousers, pulling them up and tightening them while JULIET is sitting on the ground, sorting out herself, the bra, etc. Giving the impression that they have just finished making love. BRENDAN sits beside her again and kisses her again.

BRENDAN

That was wonderful.

JULIET

Yes, it was; I‘m glad you’ve enjoyed it.

BRENDAN

Not as much as I am going to enjoy it now.

JULIET

What do you mean?

BRENDAN

No, I mean this.

ick knife from his socks)

I mean this.

JULIET

Stop mucking around.

BRENDAN

Who said I’m mucking around?

(Goes to the car, opens the front door, and looks)

Where are the keys? Come on, hand them to me.

JULIET

(Scared)

No.

BRENDAN

You don’t want me to harm you, do you?

JULIET

No, please, no.

BRENDAN

Then throw me the keys now.

JULIET

Come and get them if you want them so much.

BRENDAN

Don’t worry, I will.

(He moves towards her)

Please don’t play games with me, or I will cut you.

JULIET

(show him the keys)

Here they are.

(BRENDAN bends down to take the keys, and she jumps at him. There is a struggle, and they are both on the ground fighting.)

Fade-out lights

(Still, in darkness, we hear the car moving at an incredible speed, with loud music on)

Fade-in Lights

(This will give JULIET a chance to tie up his hands. He is sitting in the front seat of the car, unconscious, while JULIET is happily driving. After a short while, she turns the music down, looks at BRENDAN, and, with one hand, smacks him on the face to wake him up. He moves his head slightly and comes to his senses; he lifts his hands, which are tied with a wire. He tries to move, but she calms him down.)

JULIET

Hey, calm down, or I'll put you back to sleep.

BRENDAN

(confused)

What have you done to me?

JULIET

Now tell me, you're intelligent; what do you think happened to you?

BRENDAN

(Angry)

You're a fucking bitch. Let me loose?

JULIET

(Showing him the flick knife)

Did you know what you wanted to do to me with this? Do you remember?

BRENDAN

(Laughing half-heartedly)

I was only joking; I was not going to harm you.

JULIET

You picked the wrong person this time. You only wanted to take the car and leave me stranded there.

BRENDAN

Honestly, I was not going to harm you.

JULIET

That's what you're saying now.

BRENDAN

No, I mean it. Please believe me.

JULIET

Could you give me one good reason to believe you?

BRENDAN

Because we made love?

JULIET

If I believed all the guys I made love to, I'd be the most gullible person in the world.

BRENDAN

(Trying to get his hands free)

Come on now, the joke has gone far enough.

JULIET

The joke has yet to start.

BRENDAN

(confused)

What do you mean?

JULIET

You'll stay tied up as you are until I decide what to do with you.

BRENDAN

(Curious)

Are you taking me to the police?

JULIET

Police, what for? So that they put you in the nick and let you go free the next day? No, I have better plans for you.

BRENDAN

(Angry)

Like what!

JULIET

(Smiling)

Killing you!

BRENDAN

Why, because I was going to steal your car?

JULIET

No!

BRENDAN

(Angrier)

Then why, for fuck sake?

JULIET

Because I like to kill men, incredibly, after I have fucked them.

BRENDAN

(Angrier)

You're sick!

JULIET

Yes, that's right. What are you going to do about it?

BRENDAN

(Defeated)

Nothing!

JULIET

(Pats him on the head)

That's a good boy.

Fade-out lights and Fade-in Lights

(We hear the car stopping, and we find JULIET alone. She leans over the passenger seat, talking to ANDREW, who is bending down and talking through the window.)

ANDREW

Please give me a lift.

JULIET

That depends.

ANDREW

On what?

JULIET

Let's see now: are you a mugger?

ANDREW

No, I'm not

JULIET

A Rapist?

ANDREW

Neither.

JULIET

Maybe a killer.

ANDREW

I'm not, that's for sure.

JULIET

(unlocks the passenger door)

Hop in, then.

ANDREW

Thanks.

(Enters the car and shuts the door)

How far do you go?

JULIET

(As she drives and laughs)

How far do you want me to go?

THE END